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[29 Oct 2009|03:48pm] |
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Meh
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[11 Nov 2008|04:27am] |
I fall so fast. Too too fast.
Here I am liking a boy again.
So so so much.
He's good for me but it'll never work. We're too different. It's okay though, I don't mind.
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[11 Dec 2007|09:17pm] |
I'm falling pretty damned fast and I'm deadly afraid of hitting rock bottom.
I'm trusting you with everything I've ever known and it's completely involuntary.
Please oh please don't break my heart.
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[15 Aug 2007|06:33pm] |
What did I do wrong? Why don't my parents love me? Was I that much of an inconvenience? Am I really as bad as they've told me I am? I'm sorry I'm such a bother. I'm sorry I get in the way. I'm sorry I make you angry. I do whatever you want me to do but I don't do it well enough. I'm sorry.
I don't mean to cry. Sometimes I just can't keep it in. I'm sorry about that. You tell me I'm just feeling sorry for myself and that I'm playing the woe-is-me card. I'm sorry. Okay? I'm fucking sorry that I don't meet up to the standards your perfect son does. I'm sorry.
Why aren't I enough? Why isn't everything I do enough? Am I doing something wrong? Am I doing everything wrong?
I'm really sorry I'm not good enough for you.
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| I left the light on for you and then if you show, you show. If you show, you show. |
[08 Aug 2007|04:34pm] |
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music |
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Tegan & Sara - Are You Ten Years Ago? |
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Last night was by far the best birthday celebration Lee has had in the whole time I've known her. That's 6 birthdays bitch. It was absolutely amazing and I loved every second. My birthday best be a repeat of that night hahaha.
Y'know how boobs swell when you get your period? How they look a bit bigger and fuller? It's super noticeable to the bewb-owner if said owner has tiny boobs (lyk m3e lolz). My boobs are all swollen from that, usually by now they'd be back to normal but no such luck. Damn. If the pill makes them much bigger I'll be a sad duckling. Fo realz.
It's totally not in my head by the way. If you know me in person you're free to come over and grope my boobs to prove it. Hahaha. Sadly enough I'm serious. They're actually in pain atm. They have been for the past few days. Growing-boob-pain. Well duh I mean the pill, PMS and periods all cause tender bewbage. Still though, it's totally not appreciated. I hate boob painnnnn.
Work called me but I wasn't here. Bah. I feel bad. I covered for Christina yesterday and she left me a voicemail, she still sounds sick. If she needs me to cover tomorrow and Friday I'm down but there's no way I could go in today. I mean I had to get Sam to babysit my brother yesterday as it is. I paid her $20 and make more in the 3.5 hours I worked but that's really not the point. I mean I don't care about the money. It's just hard for me to drop everything to run to work.
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[07 Aug 2007|01:18am] |
Hormones are an evil thing. I try to treat them like intoxication and nightmares, I repeatedly remind myself that the situation I'm in isn't real so I can calm down. I don't like how hormones fuck with my brain and make me sad. I'm not sad. I'm not a sad person. I do not appreciate hormones fucking around with me.
I know this is regular P(resent)MS behavior and I'm hopehopehoping the pill doesn't prolong this since it has a tendency to do so. Please oh please gods of contraception don't let me get super depressed.
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| How's your vagina today? |
[02 Aug 2007|06:55pm] |
I'm pre-cramping. Fucking aye uterus, don't you cause me enough torture? Seriously.
I'm using my mind powers to not get my period tonight. Sort of. Part of me is "Noooooo uterus! DO NOT SHED YOUR LINING YOU STUPID CUNTFACEDMOTHERFUCKINGDEMONSEED!" and the other is "Get it the fuck over with please, before I go insane and carve through my body to find you and rip you out with nothing but a spoon, possibly rusty".
I don't want kids. My uterus is just taking up space in my body. C'mon now. Why hasn't some insane scientist that hides away in mountains and has extra curricular fun with his lab rats invented some genius insert that is surgically (or maybe not, too many 'DON'T HURT TEH BABI3Z OMGZZZZZZZZ' nazis in the world [fuck the babies]) implanted into babies when born so when they grow up and decide "Whoa, I'd like to use my reproductive system to contribute to this overpopulated, socially retarded world" they can just press a button or flip a switch and TADA! menstrual cramps followed by a uterus that is a-okay with being implanted with fertilized eggs?
I will fuck the shit out of that guy. I'm serious. If there's some guy (or woman... but c'mon, that won't happen women are too dumb [just kidding! Calm down!]) that can accomplish that I will show him the time of his life!
I get to start pumping my body with extra hormones once my uterus starts shedding! Doesn't that sound like oodles of fun? Hormones that continually trick my body so it doesn't make teh babiez. I swear on my left toe if I end up pregnant I'm suing someone. I'll sue Trump! I just want to sue someone. Y'feel me? Ha, if you're an American reading this you probably do.
Please, please no comments bitching that I can't sue someone if birth control doesn't work. I'm fully aware. I mean, hi I wasn't born yesterday. If I was I wouldn't need protection! Lucky babies.
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[01 Dec 2004|08:40pm] |
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I abhor fake people.
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